What does it mean to be nice? I mean, really?
I used to think I was a nice person. Actually, I used to think that others thought I was a nice person. Deep down, I knew that I wasn't as nice as I appeared to be. And it was a lot of work trying to be nice all of the time. But for some reason I felt compelled to be considered a nice person. I really wanted, no needed people to think that I was really nice.
Not to say that I didn't have moments of genuinely being nice. I still do. But for some reason, niceness just isn't my goal anymore.
When I left my job as a children's pastor, I was really angry at the church. I was fed up with so much, some of which I still can't even name. I think I decided that being nice was for the birds. I wanted to be real instead. And for me, being "real" meant not being nice all of the time.
But now I'm coming back around. I've been out of the church business (as a full time participant) for almost two years. And I want to learn how to be real and be nice at the same time.
I have a ways to go. Just ask the people around me that I haven't been nice to...
(Yes, I am aware of the dangling preposition. It just seemed to flow better with it!)
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4 comments:
I knew it!!! You were fake!!1 you are a FAKE!!! aaarrrrggggg..... heh... just kidding... I think it is normal to be fake nice every now and then, but authentic is more appreciated of course... so if you think I am ever being fake call me on it.
So...
Does this mean no more drawing the middle finger on a cup anymore??
All you can be is yourself -- if it's a time where you're nice, you're nice; if you're not in the mood for folks, then you're not in the mood for folks. I tried for a long time to be nice everywhere, all the time, and it just doesn't work. I've been where you are; I've decided the easiest thing for me is to just go with it.
Being nice is overrated, the polite socially correct thing to do isn't always the right thing to do.
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