I have recently realized (again) that I am just not satisfied with myself--with anything about myself. It may be a phase (I've certainly been through this before) or it may just be who I am. Which will be a very disappointing life unless I can figure out what to do about it.
When I was younger, not being satisfied meant that I could push myself harder and get great results. But I still don't feel like I've achieved anything worthwhile with my life, and time, as they say, is of the essence.
So sometimes I wonder: What is it going to take to actually be satisfied with myself?
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4 comments:
maybe you should take a look at your self through someone else's eyes. You might find that you are your own worst evaluator.
Why must you be satisfied? (with your self?)
I've been going through a similar sort of phase during my job hunt; it's not that I'm not satisfied with myself -- it's just that at times that I'm not satisfied with what I'm getting accomplished. I feel like I could be doing more, no matter how infeasible or unrealistic that goal is.
You'll come out of it soon -- when I do, too, we'll celebrate with a virtual glass of champagne!!
When I quit working to stay at home with my daughter (and subsequently kept on staying home after the birth of my son), I wrestled with this same thought. I kept thinking that my accomplishments, in regards to what I DID as opposed to who I was, were not great and left a lot to be desired. I read a great book at the time that showed me that WHO I was, not what I did to earn a paycheck, was more important. It took a while to really ingratiate myself to that way of thinking, I logically knew it, but in my heart I kept being disappointed in myself. Eventually my self image came around to that 'logical' way of thinking, but it took some time. And, just to add some personal commentary on what you wrote, I know the influence you've had on more than just a couple children---children who have come to love our Lord because of your influence. Now, THAT's an accomplishment! Heck, children? ADULTS catch your enthusiasm too! You have been blessed with that 'cheerleading' gene, for lack of a better term, that excites people and makes everyone feel welcome. YOU are influential, and THAT trait is quite an accomplishment my friend!!
Peace,
Dawn
Maybe if you got stupid and tried to see 119 of something. That should pretty much do it.
Hope you're doing better than the post sounds like you are. I can safely say that I haven't drawn an ode to anyone on a Starbucks cup in almost a year now, so you've managed to succeed in being the only one for that.
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