Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Loitering with Intent

It's been a while. A lot of changes since my last blog...

I'm between careers. I'm between churches. I have aged into another decade bracket.

Although I manage to keep busy every day, my answer to the oft-asked questions "What do you do?" or "What are you doing these days?" is both complicated and simple: Nothing. And lots of stuff.

My spiritual director suggested that I tell people I am "loitering with intent." Intending to do what, I'm not sure. But I am trying to be vigilant about listening for direction. In the middle of doing nothing. And lots of stuff.

Some days I think I'll learn to draw. Or finish writing the book on my computer. Some days I just work on my kirigami calendar and finish a NY Times crossword. Sometimes I do a lot of laundry and cook. Sometimes I read. Some times I just watch reruns of Desperate Housewives...

I have spent some time looking for employment. But (thankfully with the blessing of my somewhat-gainfully employed spouse) I've decided that I'm going to wait until I'm not stressed about the money before I started earning it again. We'll see if I can manage to get there.

In any case, here I am...attempting to "loiter with intent." I have found that, amidst the laundry and the cooking, the kirigami and the puzzles, my mind seems to have a lot more space. And my heart seems to have a lot more peace. Not sure if this is the result of losing my job (or my church)...but it is interesting.

If you have any thoughts, feel free to share. You never know where the next direction is going to come from...