On being nice...

What does it mean to be nice? I mean, really?

I used to think I was a nice person. Actually, I used to think that others thought I was a nice person. Deep down, I knew that I wasn't as nice as I appeared to be. And it was a lot of work trying to be nice all of the time. But for some reason I felt compelled to be considered a nice person. I really wanted, no needed people to think that I was really nice.

Not to say that I didn't have moments of genuinely being nice. I still do. But for some reason, niceness just isn't my goal anymore.

When I left my job as a children's pastor, I was really angry at the church. I was fed up with so much, some of which I still can't even name. I think I decided that being nice was for the birds. I wanted to be real instead. And for me, being "real" meant not being nice all of the time.

But now I'm coming back around. I've been out of the church business (as a full time participant) for almost two years. And I want to learn how to be real and be nice at the same time.

I have a ways to go. Just ask the people around me that I haven't been nice to...

(Yes, I am aware of the dangling preposition. It just seemed to flow better with it!)

Self-realization...

I love being alone. On the Myers-Briggs scale, I am an "I" all the way. "Introverted" in the sense that I get energized by being alone.

That's why my new job is such a cherry. I get to sit in a very large office space. All alone. All day. Every day. Well, almost every day.

So that's why it was such a shock today to realize that maybe, just maybe, I needed a little human contact to stay, well...sane.

It's not that I'm talking to myself (I am) or singing to myself (I am) or calling myself names (I'm doing that, too). I realized today that void of human contact, I am starting to be concerned, I would say overly concerned, that others don't like me. HA! No one even knows me! I talk to people via email for all of two or three lines at a time, and I'm concerned that they don't like me? I've even started adding smiley faces to my emails to make sure my tone sounds cheery.

Seriously, I had no idea this would happen.

So I tried to snap myself out of it today with a few "get over its" and "get a lifes." Hopefully acknowledging that I have a "problem" is half the battle.

And here I though being alone would be good for me! :)

How odd...

The month headings on my archived posts are in Spanish...

What could it mean?

Trying to Jumpstart the blog...

It's trying to start the habit of semi-daily blogging again! Just when I got over the pressure to have something meaningful to say every time I logged on, I got all busy with finishing grad school. Thankfully, if I've learned anything from my exploration of theology, it's that I feel comfortable letting go of the need for meaning. Ha ha.

Well, I finally got the diploma in the mail yesterday (hallelujah!) and I'm ready to get on with my life. So I'm trying to get back on the blog circuit, writing and reading, participating in e-life.

It's just I can't think of much to say right now. So I'll just share a little slice of my life today...entitled "What I Brought Home from my Parents' House."

Unlike many others, I did not take much out of my bedroom when I left my parents' house. But I have slowly seen my mom's clothes take over my old closets, so I'm getting the hint. "It's been twenty years, get your junk out of my house." :)

So this is what I brought home today:

1. My Yearbooks - one from grade school, two from middle school, four from high school and one from college. (I stopped purchasing the ones from UK--too many people I didn't know!)

2. Twenty-two Trixie Belden books--my whole collection. I'm not sure if any more were published. I really loved these as a kid, much much more than Nancy Drew.

3. Some old pictures - sorority, Chrysalis, Emmaus, Lake Junaluska...all pictures of an "old" life.

4. Three really cool coloring books that are practically unused. I didn't want to "ruin" them so I never started them. I'm buying some cool markers tomorrow.

5. My microscope and collection of 48 prepared slides. This will give my husband something to do this summer while he's off work.

6. Last but not least, my copy of How to Eat Fried Worms. I think I saw a preview for a movie of this book, and I wanted to read it again (and have Robbie read it) before we see it. A kid's book, but I really loved reading as a child and it brings back such good memories. I actually spent most of my allowance on books at the "Little Professor" book store.

AND...my brand new set of Harry Potter books should be arriving from Borders any day now! I haven't read ANY of them. Now that I'm done with school, I'm going to enjoy them! I hope to read them before the last book comes out.

Did I mention I love to read?

All Hail Obi Wan Kenobi...

All Hail Obi Wan Kenobi...
Originally uploaded by megnet77

My nephew arranged all of the Star Wars action figures around Obi Wan and had them chanting "All hail Obi Wan Kenobi" until his dad said, "If you say that ONE more time..."

This is what I woke up singing...

I love this song...but how odd that this is what woke me up early today!

June! A new leaf...

Today I finally finished my degree! It's late, and I don't have a lot on my mind other than sleep right now, but I wanted to update my blog for the first time in MONTHS and start the good habit of writing frequently on my blog.

I look forward to catching up on other blogs, too.

I, Margaret, do solemnly promise to blog more often...and hope that my brain does not turn to mush now that I am not in grad school anymore!

Hopefully I can find something interesting to jot down occasionally.

First...sleep.

See you tomorrow!